As many of people now know I am preparing to go to Adelaide, South Australia, here in a few weeks, and I have had some rather tough decisions in dealing with this.
My first issue and one of the biggest is, Lily, the baby girl I have helped raised everyday of her life since she was six month’s with two months and seventeen days in Lockport, New York, and two months in Washington D.C. When I returned from D.C. Lily, was so happy to see me, and wouldn’t let me out of her sight and would even cry if I said I was leaving, it really broke my heart to leave her, especially now that I am to be confronted with leaving her again, I know when I’m gone I miss so much, and that she is going to grow up so fast, but I can’t be apart of her growing up 24/7 as I am still a teenager and have a life to create for myself, I often think because I consider Lily, my child already, I don’t want to have another kid for some time, she is so special to me and I don’t know what I would do without her in my life.
Problem number two is that there is this guy who I have liked for about six years now, and although we have dated on and off in that time, something about him has never made me stop liking him, and now that he continues to tell me that I can’t leave, I stop and wonder what has changed between us or if I am making more of it then it is, but I know my feelings have only gotten stronger for him, and when he says I can’t leave it really makes me stop and wonder is this really the right choice for me. Since I’ve spent more time with him during the last few weeks I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not just being used for something.
Since I dropped out of High School few people have seen me, as I’ve attempted to figure out what I want to do with my life, I know I want to be President one day, but what happens between than and now, I’m not sure of. Tonight I was asked to put myself in my friend’s position, would they really stop and consider how I felt about them leaving if it where them who was presented with this opportunity of a lifetime, that I can not answer for I hope they would do the same, but I can’t say for certain how many would actually put themselves in my shoes even for one day.
Everyone has problems and we all have our ways of dealing with those problem’s I just happen to help everyone with theirs while I put my thoughts, and feelings aside.
Tomorrow is another day and along with it will come new problems in which we must face. As One Direction says live while we’re young right? After talking with several people I have decided that Australia, is to big of an opportunity to allow it to pass by, I can’t go through life wondering what if I would have gone. Now I just don’t know for certain how long I will stay if it will be for the whole year, or just for six months or so, Life why can’t you ever just have a path set out for me that I’m supposed to follow, or do you already, and is this part of it?