As many of you know I have returned to Lincoln, after living two months in Washington D.C. What many of you don’t know is the reason why I returned, when my heart and mind was so set upon staying.
On a cold day in March, I received a call from my mother, she was frantic as usual saying ” I need to get my ass back here, to help her with things. Otherwise she would lose her housing.” So in an show of usually putting the need’s of other’s above my own I came back at the end of March to face an uncertain future.
Since coming home, I have continued my political activism, and continued following my passion’s, while making a few friends, and a few enemies along the way. An ever growing number of people I live among pressure has been put on me to get a job. You may ask yourself. How can finding a job be a bad thing?
Well it’s not the finding a job part I have a problem with. It’s the way in which people are pressuring me into supporting their habits, and putting their needs above my own. My mother over the last two months has been very vocal about me finding a job, as she claims that I owe her $210 a month. For what you ask? Half of the rent to an apartment, we have only been at three times since May 15th, half of the electric bill, half of the water bill, and let’s not forget the costly habits she has such as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
Pressure has been put on my mother, by not just my mom’s boyfriend, but my brother as well recalling the past of when my mother did the exact same thing to him. Now that my brother has had a daughter a little girl who mean’s more than the world could ever to me, my mom has aided in the raising and caring of this little girl. She has her mindset on the idea that I will stick around home until I’m 24, and that I will get a job and help support her habit’s like my brother did, this is where she is gravely mistaken.
Unlike my brother we have a few differences, one my brother has settled down here in Nebraska, where I have not. I have medical issue’s that my brother can only imagine the way I feel on a daily basis. The fact that my brother has many of the same habits my mother does. Last but not least for the win a daughter in which he uses to his advantage to get my mother to do things such as babysit and such.
Something I have always heard everyone say is that they want to get away from this place they call home, and experience the world. In reality though only a select handful have managed to do this, as many of them now have families of their own they are raising here in Nebraska. Also many of my family members have always talked about living other places, or what visiting another country was like. While I have only ever been east as far as D.C. and NYC, I can say that I have lived, and that I have gotten a taste of what it is to be “INDEPENDENT!”
Having been granted that small taste of reality, away from unwarranted stress, and pressure to do things I don’t want to do. Since the whispering winds have started several months ago, the relationship between my mother and I, has gotten very volatile to where we fight as many as three times a day. The last time things escalated this far I vowed never to return that I was done, only to return and put myself in another situation that I have allowed to escalate this far.
Once the escalation hit’s it’s climax, I have a very strong feeling there will be a disastrous fallout between me and my mother, and possibly my brother, and them as well. I am taking the stand to be independent, because as everyone is saying I’m almost 20 I need to start doing something with my life, that something being what I choose to do and not what is forced upon me. I unlike my brother will not be trapped here in this place I call home.
While time can mend many wounds it at times doesn’t have the ability to inflict change that is usually taken in a positive rather than negative way. I will aspire to still be apart of my mothers life, but by my terms. The time has come that I will no longer put the needs of my family, or my friends above my own. I vowed to see the world and over the next decade I intend to do just that. As my niece grow’s I want her to remember me as the cool uncle, who has been to some of the most amazing places in our world, who has done so much. I want her to look up to me and say I want to be like him.
“Mom, I know this is going to hurt you, but the time has come that I must face the world on my own. At the age of twenty, I may not have the money and or mean’s to do the things in which I want at this point in time, but as you have taught me over the years “You will never have anything if you don’t work for it. It can’t be forced upon you by another, it has to be of your choosing or you will never fully chase your dreams.” If only you would remember those words and realize that while they’re are scary things in our world, what would we be if we never decided to take that chance, that one small step that could lead us to greatness. My dream is to sit behind the resolute desk, and to be the leader of a nation, that not only pushes the boundries of the status quo, but of a nation that will always defy the government’s of old, that always push’s to advance both the understanding of science, but the advancement of women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, a nation that creates a fare immigration system, that gives everyone of this world a chance to become better then they are today. A nation in which healthcare is a right and not a privilege, a nation where the poorest of people can strive for greatness. While I realize that the struggle the citizens of my nation face are far from over, I also realize that with the struggles my nation faces today. The battle’s in which must be fought in order to achieve the things mentioned, and beyond. With each new challenge my nation faces, I will be given the opportunity to help shape the future history of my country, and that of the world. I will one day become President of the United States, but in order to get there I must first take this one small step.”